Okay, so I’m one week into this tri training thing so it would be fair for you to ask… what the hell do you know about triathlons or joining a tri club?

Here’s what I’ve learned in my first week:

  1. Swimming sucks

So I jumped in the pool ready to do my first half hour swim, I’ve ran a half marathon in just under 2 hours, so a half an hour swim goal seemed fair.  No it wasn’t.  After a 10 minute swim (and I use the verb “swim” very loosely) I was close to my first near death experience. 

I spoke to a couple of the team about it – apparently this is normal.  Whilst I doubt any swimming records are in my future, I’ve been assured that most runners find swimming hard. 

Teams reassure you that you won’t be a gumby forever.

2. Padded bike pants

I have a cupboard full of Lorna Jane active wear, don’t yet have a tri-bike so no need to invest in any other kit right?  Absolutely correct if you want your butt (and let’s be honest, your vag.) to be so bruised you need to carry around a donut pillow for the next few days.  Buy the padded pants!

After the first ride, I decided to make the investment, as I was about to walk into the shop I messaged the tri club chick coach to quiz her over whether to buy the shorts or the ones with the strappy things that go over your shoulders.  The advice was “buy the ones with the strappy things if you don’t want the person behind you to see your butt crack”.  Good advice Kat, good advice.

If you’re a chick and you’ve only seen photos of men wearing them, you have to question how… ahhh, they work with your female baby feeding mammary glands.  They work, they go around the outside. 

Teams don’t let their team mates show butt crack.

3. Random tips

In order not to look like a complete newbie when you start your training, I was told a bunch of random tips:

  • You wear your sunnies on the outside of your Helmut
  • You don’t wear undies under your bike kit, apparently the less rubbing the better
  • Buy a smart trainer, not a wind trainer for indoor biking
  • Under no circumstances post your gym sessions, walks with the dog or yoga onto Strava – let your Mum know about that shit.
  • Have food ready after swimming, it makes you as hungry as hell
  • Gels are good to consume before training (trust me, Eggs Benedict wasn’t a good choice ½ hour before my first ride… I’m proud to say, it didn’t come back up).

Teams don’t let their team mates have a VPL or vomit on the bike track.

4. Buy their expensive hand me downs

I’d resigned to the fact that I couldn’t afford $5K on a tri-bike, I was 24 hours off going and buying a road bike instead.  I posted a WTB post in the group.  Within an hour I’d secured an awesome bike for $800.  Now when someone asks if I’m any good I’ll mumble the words “my bike has” and say loudly “been to Kona!”.

5. Competition

You’re in this sport because you’re competitive right?  Well sometimes it’s easy to miss a session or two when things come up.  Like today, late night due to 3 x 11 year old boys partying hard until 12am.

Then this morning CF added me to the Strava group.

There is a leader board.

That 50 minute run will knock me up 10 places.

I did the damn run, now I’m going off to do a damn swim (let’s be honest, 10 minutes isn’t going to bump me up much) and I just went out to buy damn headlights for my damn bike because it will be dark by the time I get to the bike and LIKE HELL I’m going to be a loser!

Teams help maintain that competitive spirit!

You’re right, I know nothing about this sport, so if you’re in the same boat or even have some experience but feel like you could fast track things by having access to some absolute legends, then join Team CF, a group of athletes who are serious about their sport but have fun in the process.

p.s. I bought a gel padded slip on cover for my bike seat today too – I’m not sure if that’s a laughable offence.  If it is… I DON’T CARE!

Find out more about Team CF & how to sign up

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